Skip Carter: Henchman for Hire
J. Von Swan
Publication date: October 13th 2026
Genres: Action, Adult, Humor
From the award-winning author of the Wolf of Vanaheim series comes a story about the guy nobody roots for — until now.
Skip Carter isn’t a hero. He’s a former soldier, ex-con, and lifelong screw-up whose only real talent is taking punches and showing up anyway. So when a shady agency offers to rent him out as muscle for supervillains, he figures it’s just another paycheck.
But between ridiculous costumes, insane bosses, and jobs that always end in broken bones, Skip starts to realize the real losers are the guys stuck cleaning up after the chaos. And when a world-ending threat finally hits Skytropolis, he gets one shot to stop being the disposable henchman and start being the man his daughter believes he can be.
Darkly funny, surprisingly heartfelt, and packed with action, Skip Carter, Henchman for Hire is for anyone who’s ever felt like the sidekick in their own story.
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EXCERPT:
Mrs. Fuller glanced down her list. “Okay! Next we have… Mr. Carter.”
Peggy turned around in her chair and locked eyes with me. Her smile wasn’t just excitement. It was encouragement. A silent You can do this.
My chest tightened as I stood, smoothing the front of my suit jacket with sweaty hands. The room stared at me with pure, unfiltered child curiosity. No judgment yet. Just curious attention like they were hoping I might be someone I’m not.
I walked to the front of the classroom, facing a row of small faces that believed adults were all responsible, stable people with their shit together. And I realized, with sudden clarity, that I had no idea what to say.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
Awkward, uncomfortable silence stretched. The kind that crawls across your skin and whispers everyone is watching you screw this up.
I cleared my throat and glanced at Dr. Ramirez. He studied me like he was trying to place how he knew me from his emergency room.
“Uh. Hi, kids.”
A few of them waved like I was a minor celebrity. Someone whispered something and giggled.
“My name is Skip Carter. I’m Peggy’s dad.”
Peggy sat up straighter at that. Pride radiated off her like a heat lamp.
“I, uh… I used to be in the military.” That part was safe and true. Technically documented despite the dishonorable discharge. “And now I work in… private security.”
That sounded boring enough to pass. Mrs. Fuller nodded approvingly.
Jayden, the dog lover, raised his hand immediately. “Do you protect people?”
Every instinct screamed at me to lie. To say yes. To let that be the end of it. Protecting people was clean. Simple. Noble.
Instead, honesty slipped out like a bad habit.
“Not really,” I said.
Jayden frowned with confusion. “So then what do you do?”
I choked a little. “I… help make sure certain situations go the way they’re supposed to.”
That felt vague enough to dodge the truth while still being technically accurate. I had spent years perfecting that skill.
A girl with neat, black braids and a pink sweater raised her hand. “Do you stop bad guys?”
“No,” I said, and immediately regretted it. “I mean, sometimes other people stop them.”
She also frowned like I’d just told her Santa wasn’t real.
Another hand shot up. “Do you stop burglars from stealing stuff?”
I shook my head. “No.”
The kids started exchanging confused looks. The magic was leaking out of the room.
From the back, a voice cut through the air. “My mom says he’s a henchman.”
Some of the kids immediately giggled.
I looked toward the sound. It was Billy from next door. He was wearing a Captain Justice T-shirt and a smug expression. The kind of kid who repeated adult conversations without understanding why they hurt.
Peggy whipped around in her seat. “Shut up, Billy!”
Mrs. Fuller stepped forward. “Billy, that’s not appropriate–”
Billy wasn’t done. “She says henchmen work for supervillains and help them hurt people.”
Every pair of eyes swung back to me.
I felt heat crawl up my neck, into my face. The suit suddenly felt too tight.
Peggy stood up in her seat. “My dad knows all the superheroes!”
That part was technically true. Unfortunately.
Billy smirked. “Then does he know Captain Justice?”
I exhaled slowly. “Yeah,” I said. “I know Captain Justice.”
Billy’s eyes lit up. “Is he awesome in real life?”
I thought about Captain Justice and all the times he had knocked out my friends. About him swooping in to stop us even when the jobs were small. About the time he punched a henchman who was injured and trying to surrender.
“He’s kind of a blowhard,” I said.
Author Bio:
J. Von Swan is the award-winning author of the Wolf of Vanaheim series. He retired from law enforcement as a Sergeant in 2024 after the birth of his first daughter. During his career, he served on both the SWAT team and the mental health unit, experiences that now influence his writing and dark sense of humor. He now writes full-time and instructs law enforcement part-time at the community college.
J. Von Swan lives in Colorado with his family, where he spends his time enjoying the outdoors and imagining dragons that still need slaying.
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